Tonight we celebrated Passover with our annual seder dinner. I have posted previous years about the importance of the seder for our family.
This was the first year I ever celebrated Passover without Philip.
We made our matzah ball soup, with broth made by Thomas out of our chicken bones and onions and garlic and celery and carrots. We made charoseth, apples and almonds and raisins and wine with a generous dash of cinnamon and ginger. We set out the horseradish and boiled eggs and parsley.
We pulled out tablecloths and silver and candles and Maggie made beautiful flower arrangements with the daffodils, red buds and forsythia. We dug out the haggadahs and Elijah's cup and roasted a brisket and veggies. We added some other goodies brought by friends from church. Including a delicious blackberry cake.
As I looked for the bowls for the matzah ball soup, I grew more and more sad. Sean happened to be nearby and was willing to share a hug and some comfort.
Preparations made, I covered my head and lit the candles, right as the sun went down. We read through the passages, celebrating our deliverance out of slavery, the redemption of the Lord's right hand. We blessed the wine, the Creator of the fruit of the vine, the One who brought us here to this day.
Jason read as leader since we no longer have Philip to fill that role. He did a great job. The children's voices rang out with Baruch Etah Adonai, Eloheynu and they sang Dayenu with vigor. All of them dipped their parsley in the salt water, and tasted the tears and even tried the horseradish and tasted the bitterness of slavery along with the fruit of the charoseth that reminds us that even in times of adversity, the goodness of the Lord can bring sweetness.
We remembered Philip.
I didn't know if I could get through this evening.
But we did. Washing up with Rachel and Jason and Sean, the mounds and mounds of dirty dishes that can't go in the dishwasher, helped lighten things up for me.
The moon is incredibly full. The rain stopped this evening. It feels warmer than it did this morning. I hear that it is supposed to be beautiful for the rest of the week.