Pall: n. heavy cloth draped over a coffin, something that covers or conceals; an overspreading element that produces and effect of gloom, v. to lose strength, to become pale.
Our priest explained to us that the pall which drapes the coffin for the funeral service has many functions and roles. One of them is to signify that no matter how rich a person or fancy the casket, all men and women are equal in the sight of God.
This morning I woke up way too early and lay in bed miserable. I finally went back to sleep for a short nap and woke up after dreaming we were in the hallway with Quigg, the children and I, and I found out the Philip was going to die is a few days. I was so shocked I wanted to sob and fall apart, but held it together because the children were there. I told them we needed to go to Dad and spend time with him and tell him everything we need to tell him, and find out from him all the important stuff.
Then I awoke and felt so horrible that we didn't get a chance to tell him all the important stuff. That we didn't get to say goodbye to his warm self, his hug, his kiss, his eyes.
Last night I missed having him kneel at the bed, hold my hand and pray for me. I told him how much I appreciated that. How I thank him.