Sunday, September 26, 2010

Gentle Rain, one of my many very favorite things.

Contrasted against rainy grey sky, the yellow turning leaves are brilliant. Marigolds and zinnias in the garden glow like neon.

I love sunny days, but there is something about a long gentle rain that makes a Texas girl's heart tender. Maybe because it is such a rare thing in the Lone Star State.

Long gentle rains have been a rare thing around here these days and that makes today feel great. Makes me happy to fold clothes and putter in the kitchen. Even makes filing paperwork almost sort of enjoyable, in a surreal sort of way.

All seems subdued and calm. The sound of steady rain makes me feel serene. The pond is far from full. Even after a whole day of precipitation. But I can see rivulets forming and have hope that after a couple more days like today, we will see it nice and full.

BTW, not too long ago we couldn't make it through a church service without weeping. I noticed today that we smiled together as a family. Laughed. Enjoyed our cuddles, but not in a desperate, pain-filled way, but in a more normal, we love to cuddle with each other in church sort of way. I didn't feel like I stuck out as a sore thumb all through the service or as we took communion. Before, I felt my aloneness, my being without Philip, as a glaring spotlight. But today, not so. I felt happy.

It is good to feel happy.

Not that I don't miss Philip. We ran by the cemetery after lunch and told him we missed him. We wished he were here. We shed a couple of tears, but then before we left the cemetery to head home the kids were chattering and joking. It is hard to believe he is gone, but I rejoice that we can feel joy again. And happiness. And hope.

4 comments:

Chris said...

So glad to hear you made it through church with no tears. :) I suppose grief is a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. Your ability to live in the present is inspiring.

I'm watching my wonderful big poodle die of cancer, seems I get to do some of the grieving before she goes. The rain suits my mood and is watering the fall garden.

Chris said...

I am relishing the rain. So glad to hear you made it through church with no tears. :) I suppose grief is a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. Your ability to live in the present is inspiring.

I'm watching my wonderful big poodle die of cancer, seems I get to do some of the grieving before she goes. The rain suits my mood and is watering the fall garden.

Chris said...

I didn't mean to comment twice and I can't seem to delete one. Maybe you can.

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