I decided that since I already felt horrible today I would go ahead and visit the grief group in town.
Several friends who have gone through the loss of husband suggested it would be helpful
I didn't want to go.
Frankly I don't want to even categorize myself as a widow. A farmer, baker, teacher, mother, but not a widow.
I can't say that it was a pleasant experience. However, it was good to be reminded the steps of grief. Helpful to hear that anger and loneliness and fear and feelings of being overwhelmed are normal. They reminded the group that you don't get over the loss of a loved one, you adjust. They didn't even flinch when I told them I cussed the cow. The leader thought that the cow probably didn't mind at all. She doesn't know Coco. I think she minded, but I am hoping she will soften her heart.
By the way, on the drive into town I heard a love song that made me think of Coco. If I knew how to embed video, I would embed it for you, a great jazz song by Eva Cassidy, Time is a Healer. I belted it out for her as I drove down the highway. I oould picture her soulful eyes looking at me as she chewed her cud. Tomorrow we will try the stanchion again.
At least the girls had success with the goats during their milking time.
Nice rains should help garden to grow. Maybe midweek we will get the rest planted. Farming is hard work, but I can say without a doubt that grieving is much harder. I feel more worn out by today's work than days of digging dock.