Be Still

Running a farm leads me into temptation.

Temptation to work all the time.

I rose this morning in the dark hours, preparing brownies and pancakes to offer as samples to our customers, readying our market stuff, milking the cow, driving to farmer's market to interface with our WONDERFUL customers and friends. We had a great day at market. All breads were sold, and most of the meats, with the exception of a couple or three loaves, saved to barter for locally roasted organic free trade coffee, salad greens, tatsoi and bok choy and turnip greens and swiss chard.

After wrapping up in Roanoke, I drove to pick up Patrick at the other farmer's market. He did great. We ran by the grocery store to pick up what I couldn't get at the market: a package of onions and some red wine. Got home and started to clean up the aftermath of baking day.

Several hours later, the floors were swept, bathrooms cleaned, dishes washed, bedroom dusted. While I worked inside, one of Nora's big church teachers and his dad were working on building us some milking stanchions out on the nice new area Jason and his dad prepared for us. (We are so very thrilled for that wonderful gift!)

It was a little rainy, so it was easy for me to take care of indoor work.

At around 7 I heated up some amazing homemade macaroni and cheese that a bread customer gave me at the farmer's market today. A customer giving us food!!! We gave thanks and enjoyed.

I wanted to get back to work, but the evening called me.

I think it might have been God calling me.

I got out the big and beautiful glass that Kathryn gave me on one visit, the only one left of the set that hadn't been broken, and took my wine and a couple of books out to the deck.

A mystery greeted me.

Perfumed air tickled my nose.

What was it?

So sweet, I sent the girls on a hunt to try to track down the elusive but permeating fragrance.

We have a big bush out front, is it a mock orange? White flowers, with four petals. Green leaves, oblong and pointed. Very fragrant, but it didn't seem to be the smell. Besides, the perfume was so strong and the bush was yards away from the deck.

The girls smelled the poker plants, the wild mint, the other plants growing hither and yon. They ran down around the pond. The honeysuckle is about to bloom, but not quite. Anyway, it wasn't anywhere near the house.

As they hunted, I inhaled the sweetness and paused.

The air was green and moist. Clouds were developing, but I was able to watch the waxing moon move from the east side of the ridge toward the west. I pondered the meaning of wax and determined to look it up in the dictionary tomorrow. I wonder if it has to do with making a candle and dipping it into wax, seeing the candle get bigger?

I thought about how nice it was to be still and quiet. So quiet, and yet a complete symphony was playing all around me. I counted at least 10 different bird calls, not including our own flocks of poultry. There were bug trills and chirrups and frog calls, muffled girl voices giggling, water gurgling and babbling as it spilled over the pond dam and flowed down the creek. Dog sighs, sheep baas, as mothers called the babies to the barn.

Be still.

I breathed and read a few pages of a book about prayer by Philip Yancey. I think I like this book. It is taking me months to get around to reading it. I love prayer. I was still and thought about the reasons I pray. The reasons I continue to pray.

Then I read a poem by Donald Hall out of my favorite collection of his works. (I found it under the bed when I swept.)

Nora came out sad because the big kids were watching a movie that she couldn't watch. Something to do with Terminators. Rose was taking a bath and Nora felt left out. I invited her to sit on my lap as I read in the waning light. Zaccheus, our dear kitty, jumped onto Nora's lap on my lap. We all cuddled in the growing chill. The clouds came over the moon and grayed the sky. The books were no longer important.

Just like the noisy birds, Nora settled down into peace.

I thought about how pleasant and good it is to be still. Even though I hadn't spoken many words to my God, I felt as though he had been speaking volumes to me. Nothing earth shattering.

Or was it?

Pleasant conversation at the end of the day. My creator gifting me with some of the very things I love the most: evening sounds, mysterious sweet smells, dear cozy cuddles.

"Be still and know that I am God."

Good night.