Saturday, November 21, 2009

One of the Costs of Farming

I love Virginia. I love our farm.

I hope we can live here for ever and ever and ever, amen.

All that said, as I spent a few moments yesterday afternoon in the middle of my busy day sitting out on the deck with the little girls, I tried to figure out why I felt so sad. I was discombobulated by minor annoyances, but there was something that seemed to cut just a little bit deeper.

Guess it hit me that I am very very homesick right now.

Full Circle Farm is our home and when I am away I feel an ache, so it isn't like I am unhappy. But it has been a very long time since our family has had the opportunity to go to Texas to visit. I suppose it was three years ago Thanksgiving that the kids and I last went together. Three years ago Nora was three. Thomas was thirteen. Patrick was ten. Maggie was nine. Rose was six.

I have been aching to sit on the deck of my parents' house and soak in the dry arid air. Look at the scrubby mesquite trees and cactus and live oaks and let Mom and Daddy cook for us. Go see my sister and nephew in Austin and eat Texican food. Listen to familiar old accents. Take the kids around and show them where I grew up. Show them where they were born. Let them see the expanse of it all.

One of these days we will get down there. I am not worried about it. But there is an ache.

If you wish to farm full time and raise your meat and dairy, it is important to count the costs. There are only so many days one can be away from all those animals. It is quite hard for the entire family to be away from the farm for more than a day or so because of all the varied chores that must be done. Trips have to be quick snatches, a couple of people at a time.

Would I change our life? Trade the milking, the midnight hay hauling, the weed pulling, the chicken butchering for the freedom to travel anytime I wanted?

Not on your life.

This is right where I want to be.

But holiday time is when I start to feel a little bit teary. So, pardon my sentimental homesick blues. I miss my family!

All that said, let me tell you, I count my blessings to have met so many wonderful friends here in our community. We do have a family network that pulls together and treats us dearly. Don't think I could manage if we didn't. So grateful for our friends and loved ones here in the valley who make us happy to live here and hopeful to never leave. And grateful for the sound of the stream, the breeze in the trees, the creaky old house, the cozy chattering of the turkeys and other farm animals whose evening murmurings tuck me in at night.

So hopefully, before too many moons pass, I hope you will be reading a blog all about our visit to the Lone Star state! In the meantime, I will continue to count my blessings.


CountryDew said...

I think it is the weather, too. I grew up around here and I've been feeling kind of blue! I hope you get to see your family soon, though.

Greener Pastures--A City Girl Goes Country said...

A lot of people have been saying they're feeling blue lately.

But I do know what you mean Ginger because I'm not from here either and I miss my family terribly. And now with my mom being sick, I have to find some way to get up there to Jersey, but it is very difficult with the animals. The last time I went by myself and Kurt and Kelly took care of the farm. I just don't think I can endure that ride by myself again. And I actually have to go to Texas too. Kurt's son lives there and he just had a baby. And Arizona. Kurt's mother lives there. And there's my aunt in California and the rest of Kurt's familyh in Seattle... Oh my. Why are we all far apart?