Friday, December 16, 2011

Friday Night

I was outside this morning before daylight, taking some of the kids to school. Rose had a project that was too unwieldy for a bicycle ride. A big sun hat fashioned out of old newspapers and cut up organic sucanat bags, designed by Rose for her Environmental Science class's Trashion Show. It was pretty cute, and I would like it even if I weren't her mother.

The sky was still dark at 7:30am and I asked Patrick to accompany Nora as she rode her bike to the Elementary school.

It was clear to me that we were nearing Winter Solstice. Coming up in less than a week. The shortest day of the year. Patrick's birthday.

Frankly, the dark felt a bit depressing, but my insides reminded me to take heart. Sunlight will return to us in short order.

I am thankful that my bakery is a nicely sized sunroom, what used to be Mrs. Turner's art studio. Even though I don't get outside most of the day, at least I can watch the mountains in the distance and the yard in the near. The best thing I saw outside all day long was Nora, swinging on the swing with her school friend Jocelyn. She was delighted to have a friend come over for a visit. What an answer to prayer for a little girl making her new way here in Texas.

Customers came and customers went.

I think I used to be a little grateful, back before the farm and the bakery. But somehow I think that grief and work and transitions have done something to make me more grateful than I have ever been in my life. When someone walks in the door, with a smile on the face, happy to smell bakery magic, ready to engage in a chat, I feel like I have a role in this life. I realize that those folks could have skipped dropping by the bakery. It takes extra effort to go out of their way to come over here instead of pick up a loaf of bread or a bag of granola at the grocery store. I truly believe that the grain I mill and the bread I bake is nutritious, but sometimes I doubt, or question, or wonder. When those folks come by and spend their hard earned money on my craft, I feel so grateful to be able to own this business. Rough around the edges, but grateful. Hmm. I wonder what transpired to make me so much more thankful than I used to be?

Thomas washed up bakery dishes for me so he could earn $5 to go to the movies. Sherlock Holmes 2 is playing tonight and I really want to see that movie. But not tonight! I am thankful for Thomas cleaning up, and for Patrick cooking up green beans to go with our chicken, and thankful the kids can have some fun on the first night of their Christmas vacation.

PS I miss the outdoors. But am too tired to go sit out there in the cold. I think the moon must be waning, but haven't even taken a look.

1 comment:

Truthseeker said...

You answered your own question about what made you even more grateful than before. It's always amazed me that our trials & sorrows make us MORE grateful. As God works to make us more fruitful, he sometimes prunes us harshly to achieve that. Those who are most grateful are generally those who have been refined & pruned the most. It's only through the very difficult that we learn what is truly important: the peace of God, family & friends. I feel very sorry for those who don't know that kind of gratitude.