Every dog has his or her day!

I love our life.  I love the farm, the family, the work.  BUT, I also love a break.  Seeing many biblical precedents for taking off periodically to recharge, this wife, mother, teacher, baker, gardener and milker of cows went online to Priceline and got a last minute cheap ticket to Texas to see my mother!   Called her up on Wed, said, please pick me up tomorrow and lets pack the camping gear and go to Big Bend.  So, my wonderful mother cancelled everything else on her calendar, picked me up at the airport in Austin, and off we went to Big Bend National Park for a long weekend camping trip.  

Philip agreed to man the farm and the fam for a few days.  What a guy!!!  I think he must love me or something!  He and Rose milked Coco.  The bucket was kicked over a couple of times, but the world didn't come to an end.  The girls called me on my cell phone as Mom and I drove through Fort Stockton and Marathon in West Texas to ask how to make butter.  They were very successful.  Kids prepared meals, did chores and took care of each other.  

I got to spend some time with my mom.  It was great.  We remembered all the other trips to Big Bend, 25 years of visiting our favorite park in the US.  So many memories.  Eight years ago my mom was still using a walker after a head on collision with drunk driver ten years ago.  I was pregnant with Rose.  Mom, a professional artist, had not been painting for some time, due to head injuries, chronic pain, what not.  I kidnapped her and we headed to the Big Bend, a national park on the border of Texas and Mexico, 100 miles from the nearest little town.  We cried together as she "hiked" her first hike, post accident, post being told she would never walk again.  It is one of the most painful and beautiful memories of my life.  

Mom and I have escaped down to the park, now, every year or so.  The kids and Philip have learned to love the desert, the mountains, the stars and the borks(Patrick's name many years ago for the javelinas-they look like wild boars and pigs).  

So, when the winter drones on and my Texas bones crave sun, I am ever so grateful for the opportunity to head southwest.  What a good trip.  Mom and I drove around and took pictures and saw sunsets.  Ate yummy food.  One of my favorite pastimes is cooking camp food.  For you foodies out there, here are a few examples!  Roasted butternut squash with red pepper, onions, and garlic.  Roasted okra with peppers, onions, cilantro, cumin garlic and butter.  Oh, that was sooooo good.  And the piece de resistance, the venison medallions stuffed with blue cheese, wrapped with bacon and grilled.  New favorite, right there.  And of course, all meals eaten in the shadow of the mountains, either under stars or beautiful sunrise.  

Wish you could smell the smell of creosote and pine needles.  One afternoon I hiked to Laguna Meadows and found a soft grassy spot to read a book and take a nap.  Next day hiked to Lost Mine Trail, prayed and wrote.  Felt silly, healthy and strong to run down at least half of the  3 1/2 miles down the mountain.  

The flight to Texas and back offered great reading opportunity.  THE UNSETTLING OF AMERICA by Wendell Barry is a must read for you farmers out there, or you people who live, breathe and eat food.  Written in the 70's.  Very prophetic.  Very relevant.  Very hopeful, in that so many people in our little circle and many other parts of the world are taking note and adjusting our lives accordingly.  Read THE KITE RUNNER and SANCTUARY by Wm Faulkner.  Had an all day layover in Chicago O'hare and wrote drafts for reviews for both of those of those books.  Guess that will have to be another blog! 

So what does all this have to do with the farm?  Lovely goats ready to start kidding season, garden ready to be planted, hog ready to be butchered, chicks and duckies ready to be brooded, mom much more ready for spring.  I hope that whoever you are, reading my thoughts, will make sure and take time to take a walk, be still, see beautiful things and pray. 

 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  Jesus, Matthew 11:28

I thought it was March winds...

I have to write about a fun milk and honey moment.  

Sunday we had our farmer group meeting at our house, potluck.  I love potlucks.  So much fun sharing food with friends.  The crazy wind had the power going off and on all afternoon.  After guests went home, Philip and the big kids took off to church and guitar lessons, and my sister and her husband went to town for a movie, Rose and Nora and I were left all alone.  The electricity quit right as everyone drove out the driveway.  The winds wailed.  The dark crept in.  We pulled out lots and lots of candles and lit up the dining room and living room.  Ate homemade pita bread and applesauce.  Discussed options.  Decided to take turns playing piano by candlelight.  Fire crackled.  Candles flickered.  Girls and mom cuddle around big old piano making music.  We decided it would be nice if the electricity would go out for a few hours at least once a week.

                                                                    

 Thank God for the wood stove and candles.  We pray for all the people whose lives have been so disrupted by weather the last couple of weeks..  And for all the men and women working so hard to fight fires, repair power lines, take care of sick people.  

The almost no till garden

We are in the season of wild, weird windy weather.  After the ice storm we had a couple of 70 degree days.  After the catastrophe of last Tuesday, I decided that the best way to deal with a 70 degree day is to go outside and work all day.  It was wonderful.  Just what the doctor ordered.  

Toward the end of January, early Feb., for most of my adult life, I am drawn to an old, beat up hardcover green book:  HOW TO GROW VEGETABLE AND FRUIT BY THE ORGANIC METHOD, by JI Rodale.  For weeks I sketch out plans, make lists and otherwise prepare for the garden year.  Some years the garden was set out in cute little window boxes on our sixth floor apt balcony in Tokuyama, Japan.  Other years, in cute backyards and side yards in suburban neighborhoods in New Jersey and Fort Worth.  All looking forward to the farm.  So I have a few weeks under the belt this year studying my garden bible.  One method I wanted to try for years was the heavy mulch method of gardening.  When we moved to the farm we had terrible soil, but lots of old hay in the barn.  Thank goodness the child labor laws don't apply on the farm!  Thomas, Patrick, Maggie, and any other willing friend carried hundreds of wheel barrow loads of old hay, manure, chicken litter and any other "organic"matter we could find to dump on our garden beds.  After a few months we started to see our first worms.  Year two we found the soil much more amenable to planting.  

We expanded our garden quite a bit last year, to plant corn and squash.  Instead of a plow, we rented a rototiller.  It felt like tilling up concrete sidewalk.  Terrible.  Not a worm.  we planted anyway, and continued the heavy mulching.  Loads and loads of hay.  I like to think of it as not just soil building, but character building!  We harvested lots and lots of corn!  And butternut squash, and blackeyed peas.  

Sooooo, i decided to pull out the mantis mini rototiller and see how bad the tilling of the garden was going to be this year.  Especially since we expanded the site exponentially.  I had wanted to cover the whole area with hay and manure, but farm life doesn't always stop to let you catch up.  What a surprise!  The former garden spot that used to be like concrete is now black, loamy earth.  Full of worms.  Hallelujah.  That was my present for the day.  

We have decided to only till the rows, leave the space in between for walking, and figure out how to mulch the rows, just like last year.  It is time to plant peas and lettuce.  In another month we hope to plant broccoli, spinach, onions and potatoes and whatever else is on the master list.  Working on the garden....One of my favorite things.  The 70 degree days gave way to 70 mile per hour winds, rain, sleet and cold.  Perfect for cuddling up with my big green book.

Grrrrace

OK, Life on the farm has its moments, like all the times people tell me they are going to do their chores, or they did their chores, just like last night I was informed that of course Coco would be separated from Moose late at night so I would be able to get milk this morning.  Imagine my (lack of ) delight to get up extra early and find that Coco had no milk because her son drank it all before I got out there!  And then, it was time to make butter, and since my blender is broken, I attempted to use the Bosch Universal mixing bowl again.  Unsuccessful, again.  I don't know why, but with the blender we had no trouble at all getting the butter to come, but the mixing bowl just made a big, super emulsified mess.  Again. And when I tried to order another part for the blender, every place was out.  And then, feeling great that at least I had 9 loaves of bread rising by 8:30 in the morning, despite no milk or butter, I made an extra big batch of tortillas.  Out of the grain in the bucket that said Hard White Organic Wheat.  That was really Soft Organic Wheat.  That makes great cookies and cake, but not tortillas.  So I just growled and told everybody to eat hard tortillas and then proceeded to make some pretty good biscuits and pie crust out of the the rest of the huge bowl of tortilla dough.  

I was so frustrated by the list of all the things that seemed to be going wrong.  Some things my own darn fault, some, things that others neglected to do.  The kids got the picture pretty quickly, after I told them how much I depended on everyone to do his or her job, how it affected lots of other people(like my milk customers for the day).  Then I sent them out to clean barn and split fire wood.  The world did not crash even though the tortilla orders went unfilled.  We are not going to die for lack of butter.  We'll buy a new cheapo blender and keep trying to make it work.  

A friend to me how she always wished to handle the challenging days with grace, but easier said than done.  I started the day with such good intentions.  Great Bible study time alone in the wee hours.  As soon as the frustrations came my way, I sure did get grumpy.  But there were moments of grace, like seeing ALL the children playing a game of baseball on the front lawn with an old limb of a tree and a ball.  Not organized by a bunch of grownups, but initiated all own their own(do you think they were trying to stay out of grumpy mom's way or what?)  That was sweet.  Not to mention the terrific sunset that accompanied me as I measured out new garden beds.  And when Rose came in to the house crying because the other kids didn't play baseball the way she wanted, and said that she was having a really bad day, I made her laugh as I took out the big ponytail of at least 40 braids that the kids made in my very straight hair the other day and she saw curls where there never are curls.  Then I left everybody to play more baseball with dad in the dark and met a friend in town for a night-time chat.  

Come to think of it, we did have a grace-filled day.  Not perfect, but real.  Our little bumps in the road are annoying, but part of the process.  Our life is probably always going to be full of broken machines, imperfect people, health issues, and occasionally grumpy moms.  Thank you God for GRACE, baseball, sunsets and curls.

"The Barnyard gate is beautiful, Mom!"

Rose joined me in the barn this morning.  She wants to learn how to milk a cow, so I milked on one side of Coco and Rose on the other.  She did well.  I hope to work myself out of a job before too too long.  But that would mean I would miss out on the early morning peace and quiet, the sight of the valley, swirling with mist, the trees, bushes and barnyard gates crystallized in the freezing rain.  

Whiter than Snow

We had a beautiful snow storm today. 5-7 inches of fluffy flakes blanketed the farm. The ducks were so curious as they waddled out of the chicken yard toward the frozen pond. It was much easier swimming through snow than swimming on a frozen pond. it was also much easier getting children out to sled than to get them to sit at the table for schoolwork. One of the funniest moments of the day was when I saw the steers tearing through the fields, running back to the barn. Seeing them run through the snow,kicking their heels was pretty cute, but not nearly as funny as the sight of the pig, trotting behind as quickly as possible, trying to keep up. Our pig thinks she is a cow.

My nicest moment today was this evening, walking back from the barn, quiet cushioned nighttime, glittering all around me. Peace. Thank you God for blankets.

Where are you, Coco?

Well, just know that if you live on a farm and have animals that if you plan on leaving for a day or two, it will cost you. We seriously needed a mental health trip, so while our wonderful friend, Sean, was still home from college and willing to milk Coco, we made plans to go to DC. Philip took the kids a day ahead of me, and I met them on Tuesday. We ate junk food, watched LOTS of tv in the hotel, and went by subway to the National Zoo. It was so much fun! Nora had never been to a big zoo before. She was in awe and terrified amazement looking at the hippo and elephants. In fact, I was in awe and terrified amazement looking at that hippo. Yikes! They are scary! The weather was fantastic, the sun was shining, breeze blowing, close to 70 degrees. Easy to leave the farm behind for a day.

We spent the next day with Philip in the hospital at UVA, Charlottesville, for a scheduled cardioversion, and got back the the farm last night. What a relief to be home, to smell the fresh air, see familiar animal faces. Well, to see a few familiar animal faces. The faces I most wanted to see were Coco and Moose, as it was milking time. Imagine my delight to hear that they had gotten off our property sometime during the day.

So, off we go to find them, Sean, Maggie and I, into the dark misty night. One of the darkest nights of the year. In our town clothes and rubber boots. Calling sweetly off into the distance "Cocoooooo!" Shaking our bucket of grain. Up hills, down hills, covering 40 acres(our and neighbors), falling into thorn bushes, stumbling into holes. No Coco. No Moose. No other cattle. Surrender isn't that sweet. I kept mumbling to myself "this is only a test" hoping that I wouldn't let out a nice stream of swear words in front of Sean and Maggie. We lowered all the newly set up electric fence and returned to the house for me to make supper.

Early this morning, off the find the cows. Thankfully, all was well, and the girls and Moose were socializing with the neighbor steers across the fence just one property beyond ours. It wasn't that difficult to walk them back to the barn. To tell you the truth, it was kinda pleasant to be back, getting some unexpected exercise, even though I was trying to not be miffed that later on today, all the electric fence would need to be REDONE. I guess that little trip didn't cost THAT much. Several meals I didn't have to cook. Lots of Starbucks coffee. Five kids, mom and dad, all laughing together as orangutangs behave amazingly like some kids we know. Riding on the subway, all of us, together, grateful we like each other. A farm to come home to. Life is sweet.

Happy New Year

So Philip has taken the kids to town to see a movie. For the first time in what seems like weeks I am alone. I wrote a poem. Here it is:

ON WHY EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE WIRELESS INTERNET IN THEIR HOUSE.

Cold outside.
Fire crackling.
Lights turned off.
Candles lit.
Me, alone.
Venison tenderloin, pan-seared with garlic and black pepper,
bearnaise sauce made with Patrick's chickens' egg yolks and butter from cream from milk I milked from Koko,
broccoli and deep-fried sweet potato shoestrings and yummy cheap spanish wine and seamus heaney at my finger tips.

Just one more proof that God loves me!.

Life is full of surprises,or getting what you don't deserve

We bought a jersey-gursey dairy cow last March. I had visions of cream and butter, cheese and lots more milk to supplement our yummy goat milk. Well, I went off, kids in tow, to look at a cow advertised in the classified ads. Once the man arrived to the farm to show us the mama and her little heifer, it was almost dark. We rode out on the tractor and sort of glanced at the cow, and I did what every good article tells you not to do. I said I would take her, and would he bring her to the farm for me. Well. once she arrived to the farm, I noticed how skinny she was. How her legs were a little bowed. How she wouldn't let me near her. How much this guy charged me for the cow and calf and the transportation costs. Wow. Did I ever blow it. Someone in the area offered me half the purchase price to take her off my hands. Great. But at least she was a good mother and took great care of her baby, Priscilla, a fine looking baby.

Farm life is great for perfectionists like me, because there are so many opportunities to make mistakes and learn that I am not going to be completely crushed when I blow it, or make errors in judgement. So we never did figure out how to milk her that go around but figured we would have her bred and get future steak and hamburger out of the deal and another chance to learn how to get a cow into a milking stanchion and learn how to milk her.

After reading many cattle books and articles, I decided the perfect plan was to get our sweet Coco bred in July, because that would mean a baby in April, once things were starting to green up, freezing temps would be gone, and we would be ready to learn how to milk. I thought that was such a good plan. Until Philip had continued heart problems and surgery was scheduled for July. While we were at the hospital in Charlottesville, we got a phone call that our 10 yr old daughter went through a glass in our front door and had to be flown by helicopter to the hospital for life-threatening arm injuries. Consequently, plans for cattle-breeding were shelved. Garden came in, goats still had to be milked, fences fixed, drs visited, laundry washed, meals cooked, tomatoes canned, green beans canned, corn frozen, berries picked, lambs and pigs and chickens butchered, cheese made, bread baked, garden weeded, children loved on, school work started and no conjugal visits were arranged for Coco and the bull next door. Next thing you know, it was October and I finally called to get Coco over to the neighbors, haranguing myself for getting myself so off the PLAN. Now it would be August before baby came.

Through it all, the Lord kept trying to get through to me that learning is the real object here. Farming imperfectly is the only way to learn. Having a plan is good. Being ruled by it is not. Better late than never! I still had some niggly little regrets about not getting it all done, but was able to be grateful that God's grace allows me a learning curve. It just gets a bit old occasionally when the phone calls still come from the neighbors letting us know that the cows are on the wrong side of the property line because we did not get the electric fence set up right. Or the goats got in the garden again and ate up all the broccoli AGAIN.

Imagine my surprise when the phone rang this morning. The neighbor called and told us that Coco had a baby calf this morning! A huge, beautiful healthy baby bull calf. My mouth dropped wide open. I was flabbergasted. Maggie, Patrick and I hustled over in our boots on an unusually warm Sunday morning. There they were. Apparently she had been bred right before we bought her in March. It felt like a miracle. As we walked, lugged, drove them back to our property we praised God for being so kind to us. All my inabilities and imperfections and we still have a beautiful baby, healthy mama and a chance to try our hand at milking again! Of all the days he could have been born, it happened to be a Sunday that was warm, not 20 degrees. On a day the neighbors were looking out into their bottom pasture, instead of off to church early. Just the other day I was praying for God to surprise one of my friends with a gift that would show how much he loved her. I didn't expect him to surprise me! Grace: unmerited favor. Guess you will have to check back in to find out what kind of lessons we get to learn through attempting the milking. One thing done differently this year, I sent an offer to our farmers yahoo group to exchange hand on tutoring for some of our farm products. HELP! Will keep you posted. And may the grace of the LORD cover us all as we imperfectly live life.

Love in the time of deer hunting

You know, it makes me laugh quite a bit thinking about the way we men and women sometimes misunderstand the whole idea of his needs/her needs. It also made me think about the many times I do things expecting a reward from someone and then end up disappointed because I didn't get what I wanted. "Do everything as unto the Lord." I want to be careful and look to the Lord for my pats on the back. He is so faithful to see the heart efforts. I don't want to put so much pressure on others that it is impossible for them to ever measure up.

It also makes me laugh to think about how 5 kids, a few tragedies, marriage counseling and most of all God's grace have definitely made it easier for Philip and me to know what makes each other happy to be together at the end of the day. Sure am glad for God's grace that covers over all our crazy expectations.